How to Sex Your Snake by Melissa Banczak

Author:Melissa Banczak [Banczak, Melissa]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Mystery, Humour, Humorous Fiction, Cozy Animal Mystery
Amazon: B01MYBJF6F
Goodreads: 35268851
Published: 2017-02-14T08:00:00+00:00

14

“Are you okay?”

“We’re in Nogales,” I said.

“Where’d you think we were?” Morgan asked.

I shrugged feeling a little silly. Horseshoe Bend was pretty close to Mexico and Evil Looking Guy hadn’t driven us that far.

“We need to get to the border.” I grabbed a handful of Morgan’s shirt. Partly to steady myself, I was still feeling a little queasy, and partly because I needed to emphasize what I was about to say. “You’re coming with me. Somebody official needs to see you breathing.”

Morgan didn’t offer any resistance which was smart on his part. Even in my state, I was confident I could kick his ass.

“You can not kick my ass,” he mumbled.

Had I said that out loud? “Which way?” I asked.

There was a break in traffic. Kinda. Morgan grabbed my hand and we did the Frogger version of crossing the street, ignoring horns and dramatic arm gestures. On the other side, we ducked around a stack of rugs laid out in front of a shop, cut through a narrow alley that ran behind a pottery store and popped out onto a new street that looked pretty much like the one we’d just left. I skidded to a halt.

“What’s wrong?” Morgan asked.

“Do you have any money?” Just ahead of us was a taco stand wedged in between a stall selling giant paper flowers and a pharmacy pushing little blue pills.

He shook his head. “We need to keep moving.”

“I haven’t eaten since yesterday.” I glanced back in the direction of the hotel. There was no sign of Crotch Guy or any of the others, and the tacos smelled life saving. “If I don’t get something soon, I’m gonna die.” I poked a finger in Morgan’s chest to emphasize each word. “Die, die, die, and die again,” I said.

I was really going to die.

Morgan knocked my finger away. “Same thing’s gonna happen if those guys catch up to us.”

“Well, I want a taco.” I dragged Morgan over to the stand. “How much?” I asked the guy. This close to the border, chances were really good that he spoke better English than me.

Taco Guy replied with a bunch of Spanish. Thanks to the translators that Dewey’s network always provide on our travels, I have a very limited knowledge of the languages I’m exposed to. When I’m on my own, pretty much all I can do is ask for directions to the bathroom or curse like a land-locked sailor. Since none of the words that Taco Guy used had anything to do with my two areas of expertise I turned to Morgan for help.

“That guy took my wallet back at the Strand,” he said. Just to prove it, he dug through all the pockets of his cargo shorts and produced two quarters, three dimes and a rubber band.

“I really need food.” I knew I was whining but there was nothing I could do about that. And then inspiration struck. “Hey, you got anything we could trade with him?”

Morgan shook his head and casually slipped his right hand over his watch.

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